CHURCH
HURT
By Vickie L. Evans
Church - a place of sanctity and solace - a safe haven - a place where you can find rest
for your "weary soul" -a shelter from the storms of life. I have heard it referred to as a "hospital"
-- a place where the wounded can find a "balm in Gilead"; where the broken hearted can be mended; where the lame
can "take up their beds and walk"; where blinded eyes can be opened, and deaf ears can be unstopped. Church
- a refugee camp - a place for the outcast - the derelict - a "home for the homeless", "life for the lifeless",
"hope for the hopeless", you know those who are rejected, neglected, and ejected by the world and its pandemonium.
Church - a holistic place-a place of restoration and wholeness-- where those who are hemorrhaging; who have
had an "issue of blood" for many years-unbearable pain and suffering--going from doctor-to-doctor and psychiatry-to-psychiatry;
who have exhausted all resources-penniless--broke--in despair--searching for just one touch-- seeking to be made whole again!
But what happens when the very place that you turn to when you are hurting...hurts you? What happens when those who
have been commissioned and ordained to "put Humpty-Dumpty back together again" are the ones who caused Humpty to
"have a great fall"? I am sure if I conducted a survey and sent it out to 1000 church goers, I would find
that at least half of them have experienced "Church Hurt".
Over twenty
years ago, I wrote a play entitled, "The Gift", based on the biblical account of the "good Samaritan,
which depicts a well-renown Bishop, who is invited as a guest speaker to a small town church's "annual Christmas
revival". The members of the church had heard of him and how he had performed many miracles; yet they had
never seen or met him face-to-face. On the bishop's arrival into this small town, while walking down the street,
he is mugged by two local thugs. A short while later, a group of church leaders passed by, whom he asked for assistance,
but they refused. As I stated earlier, the very ones who were commissioned and ordained to help him were the ones
who "snubbed up" their noses at him. However he encountered a runaway teenager-who fed him; a bag lady-who
sung him a song of comfort; and a homeless man-who offered him a sleeping bag to rest for the night. Sometimes love
and compassion are shown through those in which we least expect and "gifts" comes in small packages. Well,
the Bible tells us not to despise "small" beginnings (that is just an extra tidbit for someone who needed it).
Nevertheless, "Church Hurt"-hurts
like no other hurt; it is more intense. The thing about "Church Hurt", you never know when it is coming or
who it is coming from-it could be a choir member, an auxiliary leader, an usher, the church mother, the pastor's wife,
or even the pastor. Now, you talk about hurt-when your pastor hurt you-that is some severe hurt. It is a gut-wrenching
blow that knocks all of the wind out of your sail. Nevertheless, it is a reality; it happens! Stephanie
Mills sung a song a few years ago entitled, "I Never Knew Love Like This Before!" I could do a remake
entitled, "I Never Knew Pain Like This Before!" But she also states in the song, "Open My Eyes"
"Church Hurt" does just that "Open Your Eyes!" You will realize that the only thing in this
world that you can depend on is the unadulterated (pure) Word of God! People will fail you, but the Word of God NEVER
fails. Before I move on to my next point, I must leave a warning to the shepherds who impose "Church Hurt"
found in Ezekiel 34:4 and 34:10:
4) The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have
ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which
was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.
10) This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for
my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my
flock from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them.
Now, let's talk about how we position ourselves to get hurt. Some of us were raised in church and
became quite familiar with the traditionalism of going to church because it was the "right" thing to do! Some
of us attended church because there was a need or point of lack in our lives! And some of us attended church because
we were broken, busted, and disgusted and were seeking a balm or some type of solace. The common denominator that linked
all these scenarios is the Pastor. At our original entrance in the church, we may have needed instructions, guidance,
or a roadmap to get back on our feet or to steer us in the right way, because we did not know "The Way" (Jesus is
The Way, The Truth, and The Life [John 14:6]). However, once we get on our feet and become acquainted with "The
Way", we no longer need our "crutch". What I am trying to say that some of us become co-dependent on
man ( the Pastor and the Church body), instead of solely depending on and putting our trust in "The Way".
First, let me say that Pastors should be reverenced, given honor, and esteemed-highly. But there is a thin line between
"reverenced" and "idolized". There is a distinction between "honored" and "put on
a pedestal". There is a contrast between "esteemed-highly " and "worshipped". Besides,
our God is a jealous God; He will not have any other god before him (See Exodus 34:14). Is it possible that He imposes
measures to break "the apron strings" of dependency that you have placed before him? Is it possible that He
allows situations to occur that "open our eyes" ? Just maybe that measure could very well be "Church
Hurt". Once we are free from the addiction of man-we can now fully and wholeheartedly receive the anointing of
God; who will teach us all things.
1 John 2:27: But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that
any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath
taught you, ye shall abide in him.
Let me clarify, I am not advocating emancipation, or separation from the church, nor am I telling anyone
not to listen to their Pastor, so let us get that straight right now. I am a minister and I certainly would not do anything
to disrespect my ministerial calling or for that matter, those who have been called to Pastor. But what I am saying
to you is what a Pastor told me several years ago that changed my life, "Get to know God for yourself." Do
not let your relationship with God solely be determined by a 15-30 minute sermon. Study the Word of God for yourself.
2 Timothy 2:15 confirms, "Study to show thyself approved, a workman that needed not be ashamed, rightly dividing
the word of truth." Read your Bible! If you have trouble understanding the Word, by all means
seek for understanding from a clergy or someone who is an astute student of the Word.
In conclusion, I have certainly had my share of "Church
Hurt" but it has only strengthened me; for my trials have only made me stronger, wiser, and better. "Church
Hurt" has made me re-focus my priorities and place my trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3). It has taught me that I do
not have to be a "clone" of someone else; that I can uniquely and individually be "me". It
has made me live the advice of my Pastor, the late Georgia Smith, "Get to know God for yourself!" Each
day I am learning more..! Experience a "relationship" not a "religion-ship". You will
be glad you did!
